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ANOTHER RAPE EXPERIENCE

It all started at age 8 when my siblings made me angry so I went down stairs into one of the rooms in the house to sleep, I felt someone touching me it was my cousin (OLDER).

I didn't understand what he was doing at that time, he was touching my tiny breast and it was very painful..... I told him to stop that it was paining me but he refused,I tried shouting and he told me that nobody was around, I was so scared because I didn't know what he was trying to do until he tried inserting his penis into me.

I cried and cried but no one came to my rescue, he finished what he was doing.I was covered with blood and also the pains were too much, well he cleaned me up and took me to where my siblings were.I could not walk very well, my stomach was hurting,I was not feeling comfortable around him anymore because of what happened and also he was always monitoring my movement, he didn't want me to tell anyone about it.

It got to an extent I could not urinate well,whenever I try to urinate I always feel pain like I had an injury in my virgina, one day I tried telling his younger brother about it and all of a sudden he appeared from no where and over heard what I was saying and started beating me and also told his brother that I wasn't saying the truth,he threatened me that he was going to tell my mum about it,that at my age I already know what sex was and also I am accusing him of rape...well I begged him because I was scared that my mum might believe him and flog me.

His younger brother was very angry with me because he felt that I was already learning bad things, I also asked for his forgiveness because I felt what my cousin did (maybe)was not wrong.My mum noticed how I was walking and one day asked me what was wrong with me,i didn't tell her because I was scared then she concluded that it's because I don't keep my virgina clean that is why I had an injury....
I actually wished she asked me for the second time, at that time i needed her but she was no where to be found.At some point I got really mad at her because she didn't even notice that her daughter was not a virgin anymore, well I have gotten over it.

Talking about my cousin that raped me, I gave him distance, I hardly talked to him,I hated him more than devil himself,I prayed for GOD to take his life and he did, I was still very little, I didn't know that my prayer was very strong, I did that out of anger and frustration, I regret that prayer till now.
Well what my cousin did made me lose, I'd started the journey of sleeping around,I felt useless to myself until I met a friend that helped me gain my high self-esteem back. Right now I am okay and I have stopped what I was doing.

To all those out there who has similar stories no matter what,don't ever continue living a life of sleeping around I beg you, and never give up on yourself because it is not the end of the world.

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